


recovery (pt 2)

by jeanmoreau (laurellance)



Series: jeremyjean fics [2]
Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 17:28:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8022763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurellance/pseuds/jeanmoreau
Summary: If Riko is misery and pain and suffering, then Jeremy and the Trojans are not. In the sense that Riko used and took, in how he beat and humiliated and stole, Jeremy gives back. It's not enough to regain what he has lost, because Jean has a history of abuse that he will never be able to let go of, but it gives him recovery, an idea that he will be alright. (Or: Jean Moreau and healing.)





	recovery (pt 2)

If Riko is misery and pain and suffering, then Jeremy and the Trojans are not. 

In the sense that Riko used and took, in how he beat and humiliated and stole, Jeremy gives back. It's not enough to regain what he has lost, because Jean has a history of abuse that he will never be able to let go of, but it gives him recovery, an idea that he will be alright. 

And if Riko is the demon that haunts his dreams, night after night of broken fingers, bruises and waterboarding, Jeremy is the roommate that stays up with him till morning talking, as Jean repeats to himself that  _ Riko is dead Riko is dead Riko is dead  _ while Jeremy talks about anything, and Jean smiles, a small genuine that only Jeremy has seen. 

It's a relieved smile, the kind that speaks of joy. It's the kind that speaks of long stories and heartbreak and pure unadulterated happiness that disappears when someone is present and he and Jeremy have someone else in the room. 

Because in a way, Jean opens himself up to Jeremy, shares the good and the bad, the gory details sometimes, because he trusts Jeremy Knox with his life and more, and he has finally found something worth living for. 

Jeremy is the sun, bright and radiant and always there. Fair and kind and generous and so much more than Jean deserves, so much more than Jean can truly understand. 

Jean follows him out of choice. Not out of fear, but out of knowing that, against all better judgements, Jeremy will never hurt him, because Jeremy Knox is the sun, the one incorruptible thing he has to hold onto when his own demons threaten to choke him alive.

Jean falls in love with Jeremy, in every way possible. That's not to say he has criticisms of him of course, but he was much more likely to take care of the criticisms before them getting to Jeremy’s attention. 

He falls in love with him all at once, headfirst and headstrong and he doesn't realise it. Because Jeremy may be oblivious, but Jean has never quite known loneliness, because all he remembers is being around people his entire life. The Nest ingrains in him a desire for partnering, something that he is never quite able to leave behind. So he follows Jeremy, dedicated to the last breath.

This is a promise he gives to Jeremy, in the thanks for the talks post-nightmares, the days where Jeremy would spend to him explaining the most simple ideas he doesn't grasp anyway, in the constant and never ending loyalty he shows to Jean. 

What the Ravens take from him, the Trojans give back piece by piece. He is a Raven by blood, and he will always be a Raven by blood. That will never change. But what will change is that he will find passions and will find happiness, and he start to repair himself and recreate the broken mosaics of he who is, by fixing the gaps piece by piece, stone after stone of memory. 

Renee, Kevin and his Therapist help too, and it's a gradual process, the kind that he doesn't realise has happened until he reflects a few months later, and by then the change is huge. 

Jeremy stays up with him until six am talking, and then they go to the Exy court to get early practice in, a full two hours before team practice starts. He gives Renee updates, and in many ways, it had been her who has saved his life. He owes her that, but that is a forgiven debt, one that Renee will never take. Kevin texts him occasionally, his enthusiasm for the Trojans endearing, and his criticisms the standard. 

Jean almost feels bad for Kevin. Kevin didn't truly know how sloppy they would get sometimes, or that there would be days where he would be able to quite literally run circles around them because they were too hungover. 

Endearingly, they remind him of home. Of one he knows is welcome, because Marseilles is tainted by the stains of betrayal and debt, and even if France runs through his blood, he knows he will not be able to return there. The Raven Nest is the source of his nightmares, the grave of his innocence and joy, and it is his dungeon. 

It is the Trojans who remind him of home, long after he graduates from there. Not the Foxes, who as endearing as they are, because they are Kevin’s Found Family and he and Kevin have too much of a history to ever play on the same team ever again. It is the Trojans, in their sportsmanship and their friendliness, their kindness and their generosity, and it is in them he finds something to hold on to.

And he holds onto Jeremy Knox long after that, because he knows if it is one thing he can believe in, it is Jeremy Knox, because Jeremy Knox is hope and love and joy and all the concepts he will never quite understand that can be given so unconditionally, so generously. 

The media speculates about him and Jeremy. He pays them no regard, the same as he always has. They are not worth the questions, they are not worth the second thought unless promotion was needed. They are something he has long swept off his back, and that is that. 

What he doesn't quite understand is how Jeremy falls for him. It's at a party celebrating a victory against Foxes, Kevin had thrown him at least three dirty glances during and after the game, and Jeremy goes to find him. Half-drunk, the puppy mumbles admiration of his bravery, and the next thing he knows Jeremy Knox is pressing his lips to his, and he lets him. 

Jeremy Knox is soft, and he is gentle. He is compassion and he is the the brush of lips against him, and he enjoys it. 

(Jeremy Knox is his sun, and that is something he would not change for the world.)

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr is at jeans-moreau.


End file.
